Darklight

She was made of darkness and light , a paradox in her own . Her light enough to show her own tribe. Her darkness though was a side of hers she never believed she had . It created her and consumed her.Like a demon and an angel resting in one soul. Angel is the well wisher she thought . But the dark side of life makes her trust the demon more. 

     She has been always afraid to face the demon in her. Yet it was her reality ...it was time to accept it. The perception that angels are good and demons are evil started fading  away as she stepped her way into the darkness. It was her mind playing games with her she realised. It's not what you look at that matters , it's what you see.  There is no good and evil ...it's our vision , how we decide to perceive it . Learning to embrace the darkness took more courage than clinging on to the light .

        She may not be the same person now , the one made with darkness and light. Her energies are synchronised.  The light and darkness are no longer two different aspects. The synergies of the two gave her a feeling of euphoria. 

She was made of darklight , a paradox in her own .

Misfit

Misfit. Is who she is. She doesn't belong to anywhere or anyone.She possesses none.

People and places are just superficial. They are not real.Like a visual trap. What's real is the connection. Connection that brings a sense of belongingness , a homely feel to her.

But she, with a heart so tender...can even find this feeling with a man she just met, who makes her feel so comfortable and protected...she cares about nothing else in the world.

All she has is this one moment. One beautiful moment when everything falls into place. This is not love neither lust it's pure connection between a man and a woman.It doesn't matter if they only have this one moment or spend their rest of the lives together. They are connected now and always will be. She thought she doesn't belong to anywhere or anyone . but now she knows she's exactly where she needs to be. In the moment.

She gets it when she's 'home'. it could be with a strange man or at a strange land. a place She has never been before makes her feel right at home. How strange is that? It was as if the cold breeze , the mysterious salty air , the sand have been waiting for her. As she steps her barefoot in the sand she fulfills this nature's calling. Step by step she leaves her print behind to remember her by. It's not the beauty of the place that impresses her it's the connection she feels here.

So intense , so liberating. Her body is reacting now . She feels the tears about to roll down her cheeks. But she is happy...she is smiling. What kind of happiness is this? That makes her cry her heart out. I told you the cold breeze , the mysterious salty air , the sand all have been waiting for her to fill this empty space in her heart....which was yearning for a deep connection ever since. She cannot be more thankful for what this strange land has given her.

Being a misfit , she is happy.She finds home anywhere and everywhere. Not one place or person defines her belongingness.

After all , beauty is wherever we see it.

PS : imagine a beautiful picture here with the sand and sea waves and the foam of salty water.

sorry too lazy to find one!

Are you afraid of the dark?

Walking at night  , at a strange place where the only light that guides my path is the moon's , the only voices I hear is from the distant woods.Each time I step my foot forward I am afraid to look back.There is no light , It's the darkness that I am following.I don't trust my own senses cause now I am imagining unreal things. You see? Darkness is so powerful . It takes us away from the reality, makes us hallucinate. Yet I say it's not that scary at all!

I don't understand why darkness is always associated with negativity.If you ask me , I have always liked dark places .They a story of their own . So intense , it sends chills through our body. The quietness in such places is fulfilling. Really.....what are we scared of? 
  
Our reactions to unfamiliar situations depend on our unconscious mind .What we think , we are. 
Our fears are in our brains , they are not real . 
It's the fear sometimes that overrules your mind. 
Fear of what? 
Of darkness.
Fear of the unknown .


Everyone is dealing with their own demons , fighting their own battles. When we are at a dark place in our life.
When everything has destroyed us. We feel lost and afraid. Afraid of life's challenges. Afraid of failure. Afraid of the dark side life has shown us.
 All we try to do is run away from it. Not once do we think of facing it. Facing the darkness. Looking at the demon, in the eye.Facing our fear but forgetting what it is to be afraid even though your heart in trembling. 

It not the darkness that scares you , it's the thought of facing it that scares the most.

The time when you decide to face the demon in you , the moment you face your own fears , you become invincible.  darkness becomes a ray of hope. We just have to embrace the darkness. After all , it's not that scary at all!

That night.

       




This night won't let me sleep.
Twisting and turning in bed .
Going a thousand times over the stuff that I call my past now.
Regretting about the things I should and shouldn't have said.
Imagining a thousand more scenarios which my brain knows will never happen but the fellow heart still hopes.
I try to distract myself with some guilty pleasure. 
So this cliche` turns out to be true that the more you do NOT wanna think about it , the more you actually THINK about it. And then the worse , you OVERTHINK.


5 in the morning , still dark outside . Quiet and cold. Just as every other night. But this night is different. It won't let me sleep. Maybe it has something to say , only if i'll bother to pay some heed. But here I am sunk in my own thoughts and worries so much so that I turn a deaf ear towards what this quiet starry night has to say.

It's getting colder. I feel the silence. I love this time the most. When the whole world is dreaming like , for once at least , there is some peace. It is just me , alone. 

Something distracts me . The silence.Perhaps it has something to say. I literally get out of my bed. Making my way through the dark , the moonlight coming through my window shows the way . I sit on the sill. Take my dairy and write. I don't even think. It's like the words come to me. I don't even know why I am doing this , but it feels right. It's as if there is some energy guiding me. Showing me the path , taking me away from the noise to hear what that little voice has to say.  I told you , this night was different. It won't let me sleep. 

As I write, I realised I have stopped worrying and obsessing over my own thoughts. Just like it happens when you meditate. There is a sense of calmness and peace . Stability - mental and emotional. The self-doubting noises in my head stopped polluting my mind. I feel more receptive....to the other voices. Cause this is not a physical voice , it's spiritual.And I heard it , I heard it say " What you are doing is right . Be strong."
 Or rather this is what I wrote down on paper. The voice came from me , to me.The universe has it's own way of making things happen , you see? 



The sun is just about to rise now. I realise I have ended up writing this. I don't even know how much sense this makes. Perhaps I'll think about it tomorrow night. This night just taught me that when we control and stop the noises in our head - only then can you hear that little voice inside you dying to be heard! 
          
Everyone is about to wake up and I am ready to go to bed. This night was different. It didn't let me sleep.

I am more than a girl

I am more than a girl who looks in the mirror at her flawless self and thinks she’s beautiful.

I am that woman who sees her flaws and still feels beautiful.

She knows she’s not perfect and doesn’t have to be.

I am more than a girl who struggles making her winged liner perfect and dresses up like the “red carpet look.”

I am that woman who knows to embrace her body without the need of fancy clothes.

She knows they compliment her body but do not define her.

I am more than a girl who loves to dance all night to loud music.

I am that woman who loves to move her body to the rhythm of the music that takes her into her own little world.

She doesn’t care about perfecting the steps, she just goes with flow of music, feels her body, her emotions without missing a beat.

I am more than a girl you can have a small talk with…

I am that woman who wants to have real deep conversations…

About the stars, the moon, about the meaning of life.

She wants to know your passion, your purpose,

She hates small talks, they are just empty.

I am more than a girl who will choose her friends, her family above everything else.

I am that woman who will sometimes cheat a little bit and choose “herself” first.

She knows the happiness with friends and family

But sometimes, she chooses the peace in solitude.

I am more than a girl whom you can just hurt, apologize and get away with.

I am that woman who for once, will forgive you but will forever leave you with regret.

She doesn’t believe in taking revenge, she wants the peace that forgiveness brings.

I am more than just a girl you can fall in love with,

I am that woman who makes you fall in love with life.

#1 Choose You

Who do we live for?
Right from a very tender age our parents have dreams for us and for our "bright future".
As teenagers, we start to discover new interests , new hobbies , a new passion. We start to discover ourselves.
But all of that doesn't fit into the plan of our "bright future".
So we just give in to live upto everybody's expectations or
rather we choose to.
           And don't get me wrong here. The best thing in the world you give your parents is a smile on their facing seeing you succeed.We should give all the happiness they deserve for all the sacrifices they have made for us.
        But again.....who do we live for?
As we become a 20-something....getting a job , an apartment , a car , getting married and having kids is what life sums upto. Because this is what everyone ( read :SOCIETY) has been doing.
  Don't get me wrong here too , marriage-apartment-kids is the kinda life many dream of . But does that really work for you? Is that what you really want?
Maybe....or maybe not. We don't even care to think about it cause that is not expected of us , that is not "normal ".
So we just live up to societies' expectations of how our life should be or rather we choose to .
            Amidst all of it you might catch up on your old hobby , your long lost interest or your passion that makes you want an extra hour in a day. You might, for once start living for yourself.
              But among the chaos of life, burden of expectations and noise of other peoples' opinions , we somehow try to fit in . And we end up living for others rather than ourselves. 
     Your whole life revolves around other people (read : SOCIETY)
      Are you willing to change this?
      Just ask this one simple question to yourself : Do I want my life to be about other people or to be about myself?

I am a mess , I confess.

I am a mess , I confess. And by mess I don't just mean the physical stuff like my messed up closet through which clothes are falling out or the bookshelf or my messed up room. I mean the REAL mess when life gives you lemons. I am a mess mentally and emotionally. This is how my stage is right now. Should I just lock myself up in a room and not see the daylight? Or should I just be on social media all day and not actually meet humans? 
No I don't see a reason why I should be ashamed of this. This is who I am . Yes, I am a mess and I like it! 
I dance in a mess , I work in a mess and I live in a mess. 
(You can't even imagine how messy I am when I write my articles...like this one)

  "  Being a mess is a beautiful part in the journey of self      discovery "

                  No matter how much we try to take control of our lives , no matter how much we try to plan everything....things will go wrong and they are supposed to go wrong so you learn to make them right.This is what happens things fall apart and come together and fall apart again. And it's all a mess when you are in this transition. But each time you build yourself up , you grow. 
Each time you let yourself be a mess , you learn to get your sh*t together and come back even stronger.

                   Being a mess is a beautiful part in the journey of self discovery. When we are a mess we are indecisive , we don't know what we should do,we don't know what we want and we certainly don't know how to deal with this huge mess called LIFE. It feels like a maze in which are curious to find our way out.We are curious for answers. 
                    It is this time in our lives that we learn more about ourselves , our desires , our passion. It is this messed up time which makes us realise our  goals and gives us a drive to achieve them all.
                   Trust me , nobody likes to be a mess . Neither do you. But also , nobody has ever grown from stability . When you find yourself stuck and messed up . Don't pity yourself. Be proud of it.
Well , you are doing atleast something out of your life , standing up for something unlike others who blindly follow the crowd.
                    

                   Society pressures us to be "perfect". It wants us to fit in to their definition of " perfect " . When you don't give in , when you are a mess just like me society labels you as " good for nothing" , "failure" , "worthless" . But no ....don't even try to fit in . There's no need to . 

Just embrace the glorious mess that you are and everything will be as perfect as you want .

content writer and editor : Sharvi kadam